"Follow me” he said, but I dare not do it.

Yet I sit in the flames of God's desire 
and my body burns up day by day, ageing.
Should I lie dormant, unresisting, obedient
passively feeding on the Spirit's presence
or should I struggle, seek, research ?

Should I battle  for truth in that sea of  words
the enfolding mire of religious doctrine,
or research the sink of materialism?

Shall I find reality through the inspiration of the Spirit,
 in the dry arguments of academic thought,
or in the words that Jesus spoke?
Follow me he said.

Must I then always be on the outside 
the one that's different, odd?
As he was.

Must I  be excluded, 
shunned by the establishment, my friends
my community, my companions?
As he was.

Dare I face his challenge
Face his cross and walk to Calvary
Despised, rejected and executed?
As he was.

"Follow me", he said,
but I dare not do it.
Am I alone in that?